zenandjuice.com

a great sadness washes over me
as i say my last goodbye
i cry your name
yet no one hears

holding back the tears
but what’s the point
when there’s no one
to find fault
in this weakness

laying in bed
writing my name
upon your back
tracing my fingertips
taking care to not miss
a word

writing my pillowbook
on your flesh
without ink
without regret
these words disappear
into the night

everytime i see that picture of you
my heart fills with warmth
and i start to glow
i want to know
the softness of your skin
your gentle touch
the taste of your kiss
i want to hold you close
tightly inside my arms
and never let you go
fall asleep in each other’s arms
begin the day with your head
resting on my chest
my pulse drops when i think of you
a great calm overwhelms my
troubled heart
as i long, yearn, crave
to be with you
forever

Scraps of paper thrown onto the ground
some staring back with scornful eyes
the rest blown away by a winters gale
love letters, words, paper and ink
all that remains
of what once was sacred
the command between us
bound for eternity no more
unbound, set free
to points unknown

punctuation leaves me cold lacking the energy to stop the flow i leave it out and on and on and on it goes the sentences the feelings the lost causes and left behinds all of this loops and repeats and free flows into one another nonsensical yes but so is life just like the day before trickling bubbling sounds coming from all around thank god for water cleanses my tarnished soul now all that is left is a rusted heart to heart mind to body soul to soul don’t you know this is the way it ends in the beginning and once more as it was before the ending is coming soon while punctuation leaves me cold lacking the energy to stop the flow

concessions of guilt doubt and fear
memories stolen never forgotten
always in search
for that moment in time
when the world was young
naive and stupid
love was just a four letter word
not what it is today

Just stepped outside to stare into the night sky
snow falling around me
as I spun like a pinwheel
in the wind

am i ok? no. it’s all been a lie
to myself to everyone

i feel like an empty shell of what and who i used to be.
walking around with a blank stare on my face
the mask changes when people are around
i go into auto-pilot
as recognition sets in

as tear stained pillows cover the bed
i havent hurt like this in years
i had forgotten this pain
had tossed it aside
as i have been

dont ask me if i’m ok
you’ll just hear what you want to hear
not the truth
not the facts
not the pain
not what comes out in the dark

took some valerian root
time to lay down my head
turn on the electric blanket
rest snugly in my bed

vacation’s almost ending
i can see it going fast
3 more days and i’m back on the grind
whatever

There was a time when you let me know
What’s really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath you drew was Hallelujah