CHRISTMAS GRIPING

From: David Wagner (102017.1777@CompuServe.COM)

a christmas single with a lot of guitar, and even a mandolin in there.  it
sounds like rem got some of the people that work at the fan club to help them
out...

"well, looks like christmas is here again."
"yeah.  gues we'll have to go shopping now..."

a-2-2-2---2-2-2---2-5-----0-2
e----------------------------3

"i tell you what -- if i hear 'rudolph the red-nosed reindeer' one more time,
i'm gonna go up on a tower with a high-powered rifle."
(organ arranged for guitar)
g------9----------12--9-------------
d-12----12--9-----------12--------

"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... as you sit by the fire, all the smells will
perspire..."  
(start in at "smells", i think)
(with wah-wah)
b------8-7-5
g--------------7-5-4--7-7p4
d--5

"yeah, and i'm gonna have to take my nephew to the mall to see santa claus..."
a--2-/-5-\---2--0--(h2)-/3
e-----------3                               (/=slide up; \=slide down;(h2)=you
don't play it, but you hear this)

"wouldn't you just love to throttle the person that invented fruitcake?"
(mandolin for guitar)
e--15-15-15--14-14-14--12-14-12------------12-14-12-----12--12-14-12-------------
----------
b---------------------------------------------12--12----------------12-----------
---------13-----------------

(if you want to play it on mandolin, subtract 12 frets on the e string and 10
frets on the b string

"and what is this thing about mistletoe?"
"boom-shak-a-lak-a-lak-a-ho-ho-ho"  (9x)
"take a white marshmellow, put it on a coathanger, put it on the fire, get some
chocolate bars and some graham crackers and then you smush it and then you eat a
hundred of 'em and you vomit..."
d----------------------2--4--5--7--5--4-2h4p2-0--------------------
a--2--3--1/2--3--4----------------

"i'm still having nightmares about merle ives..."
(holly jolly xmas on tin pots, it sounds like)
"yeah, sometimes christmas really frosts ass..."
"frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul, with a corn-cob pipe and a button
nose and two eyes made out of
coalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll..."